Blonde Vs The Apocalypse
By: Gilly Arzala
Female Zombie: Grrrrr .... Arrrr ...
Abby: Aww, you don't look happy. Then again if I had decomposing gray skin, ratty hair extensions and poor taste in clothes, I wouldn't be too happy either.
Abigail Archambault had it all (almost). Popularity, good looks, money, and a star quarterback boyfriend (who also happened to be the hottest guy in school). All her friends worship and envy her and the guys ... well ... they wanna be with her (duh!). Rather than study, her time would usually revolve around cheerleading, socializing with her friends and shopping. Despite being blessed, she was mean, arrogant and selfish. She picked on the less attractive guys and girls in her high school. She turned bullying into an art form.
The day before the apocalypse, Abby and her clique decided to get away for the weekend and went up to the mountains to her family's log cabin. They partied, had sex like rabbits and drank all day. She woke up the next morning with a severe headache (which she blamed on the booze and party pills) and found herself alone in the cabin. Stepping outside, she witnessed how two disfigured strangers ripped apart the lifeless body of her boyfriend. They chewed his flesh, his guts and drank his blood like they were in an all-you-can-eat buffet.
It was like horrible you guys. Like Justin Bieber horrible.
Abby fled the scene, driving a van back to town, only to realize that all of her loved ones were either eaten or were turned into mindless zombies. The only thing she was able to salvage from her room was her doll, Renesmee (because she loves Twilight and she would shop lift and cut a bitch for Edward Cullen ... because he's hot).
Abby: Aww, you don't look happy. Then again if I had decomposing gray skin, ratty hair extensions and poor taste in clothes, I wouldn't be too happy either.
Abigail Archambault had it all (almost). Popularity, good looks, money, and a star quarterback boyfriend (who also happened to be the hottest guy in school). All her friends worship and envy her and the guys ... well ... they wanna be with her (duh!). Rather than study, her time would usually revolve around cheerleading, socializing with her friends and shopping. Despite being blessed, she was mean, arrogant and selfish. She picked on the less attractive guys and girls in her high school. She turned bullying into an art form.
The day before the apocalypse, Abby and her clique decided to get away for the weekend and went up to the mountains to her family's log cabin. They partied, had sex like rabbits and drank all day. She woke up the next morning with a severe headache (which she blamed on the booze and party pills) and found herself alone in the cabin. Stepping outside, she witnessed how two disfigured strangers ripped apart the lifeless body of her boyfriend. They chewed his flesh, his guts and drank his blood like they were in an all-you-can-eat buffet.
It was like horrible you guys. Like Justin Bieber horrible.
Abby fled the scene, driving a van back to town, only to realize that all of her loved ones were either eaten or were turned into mindless zombies. The only thing she was able to salvage from her room was her doll, Renesmee (because she loves Twilight and she would shop lift and cut a bitch for Edward Cullen ... because he's hot).
Months after everything went to hell, the bitchy cheerleader became self reliant and efficient. Never in a gazillion years has she thought that she would kick undead ass using a crossbow and an axe. She even figured out how to operate a rocket launcher. How awesome is that? She was like freaking Xena: Warrior Princess ... but with beautiful blonde, shiny hair and waaaaaaaay prettier and feminine. The apocalypse changed her. Now, she moves from town to town, scouring for food, medicines, shelter, cute boys and ohhhhhh free high end clothes.
Who would've thought a dumb blonde like Abigail Archambault could survive the zombie apocalypse?
Who would've thought a dumb blonde like Abigail Archambault could survive the zombie apocalypse?
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